It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies!: A Book of Zombie Christmas Carols
Michael P. Spradlin
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
The snow is falling, the holidays are approaching and…It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies! This delightfully depraved book of classic Zombie Christmas carols by Michael P. Spradlin is guaranteed to spread Yuletide cheer to all those good boys and ghouls who devoured the monster New York Times bestsellers Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and World War Z, as well as fans of 28 Days Later and Shaun of the Dead. With an introduction by the inimitable Christopher Moore—bestselling author of Bloodsucking Fiends, You Suck, and the classic “heartwarming tale of Christmas terror” The Stupidest Angel—It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies is a great gift for stuffing into a Christmas stocking…provided you remove the bloody severed foot first!
Hanging lots of red brains on a green Christmas tree Won’t mean a thing if you’re not undead with me. I’ll have an undead Christmas, that’s certain. And when that Zombie bites me, I’m hurtin’. You’ll be running all night, from every Zombie in sight, And I’ll have an undead, undead Christmas. IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE ZOMBIES Sung to the tune of “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” It’s beginning to look a lot like Zombies Everywhere you go. They’re in the five and ten, eating brains once again, Faces smeared with blood and all aglow!
Canned goods will become like currency, so don’t look for any cranberry sauce on your Christmas table. In the post-Zombie apocalypse, a can of cranberry sauce will bring you at least two shotgun shells from the survivors in the compound across the river. And you can forget about the traditional lighting of the Yule Log. Use it instead to smash a Zombie’s head in. There won’t be any time for ceremonies when there are Zombies scratching at your door. You won’t be hanging stockings, you’ll be wearing them for warmth.
From Atlantic to Pacific, gee! The cerebrum tastes terrific! Oh there’s nothing like brains For the holidays! ’Cause no matter How much your own mouth foams, If you want to be happy in a million ways, For the holidays, you can’t beat Brains, sweet brains. ZOMBIE WONDERLAND Sung to the tune of “Winter Wonderland” Undead moan, are you listening? In the lane, blood is glistening. A horrible sight, We’re screaming tonight, Runnin’ through a Zombie wonderland. Already turned, is our neighbor! Zombies here, I belabor.
When we found her Christmas mornin’ At the scene of the attack, She was missing part of her forehead, And incriminatin’ undead marks were on her back. Chorus Now we’re all so proud of Grandpa. He’s been takin’ this so well; See him in there with a sharp machete, Drinkin’ beer and loadin’ his shotgun up with shells. It’s not Christmas without Grandma; All the family waits for her attack, And we just can’t help but wonder: Should we decapitate her with a whack? Chorus Now Grandma’s out there clawing at the window, And Grandpa, he doesn’t give a fig.
AuthorTracker. com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author. ALSO BY MICHAEL P. SPRADLIN SPY GODDESS NOVELS Live and Let Shop To Hawaii, with Love SPY GODDESS MANGA The Chase for the Chalice The Quest for the Lance THE YOUNGEST TEMPLAR NOVELS Keeper of the Grail Trail of Fate PICTURE BOOKS The Legend of Blue Jacket Texas Rangers: Legendary Lawmen Daniel Boone’s Great Escape Credits Cover design by Milan Bozic Illustrations by Jeff Weigel Copyright IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE ZOMBIES!